Skype declares war on Zoom - Satirical article

This month, the CEO of Skype declared that he did not know why people used Zoom, some reporters decided to mention that with Zoom a person could talk to one thousand people. The CEO answered “Why would you need to call a thousand people? I don’t even know a thousand people, let alone talk to them.” He later continued stating that people betrayed Skype for a new platform, and that this betrayal will not stand unpunished. To add context to this event before the declaration, which was on TV, multiple people saw the CEO look what is Zoom. This group of people also declared that the CEO showed extreme anger, “His face was turning red” was the phrase the witness used to describe his anger. They also stated that after a few breaths he turned around and walked in front of the cameras to declare war on Zoom. The first words that came out of the CEO mouth was, “Don’t you dare look at me," this was said straight into the eyes of a reporter. Halfway through the declaration the CEO's expression suddenly changed, our analysis team found out that this was because a Zoom poster could be seen in the other side of the street. The CEO shouted out “Are you telling me all these people did not start to use Zoom just to mess with me! I swear to Job one day I will have my revenge on these ungrateful ####!!!" He later continued shouting offensive words until the end of the declaration. The last sentence the CEO said was “ You disloyal snakes, anyway to all our loyal users, I want to say thank you.” Then he turned red “But we are going to sell this company little by little until I have enough money to destroy Zoom, yes that’s right this…is…war!!!”.